Waking - Revised

      SKYE AWAKENING

    …It’s bright… even with her eyes closed she can see how bright it is. Bursts of yellow explode behind her closed lids as the patterns swirl into muted orange tones that seem to dance. The sun reveals itself so early since Spring began. The ticking of the clock on the wall whispered quietly, the only thing in the silence she could just barely hear it but its rhythm seemed like it was almost in time with her heartbeat.   

   The window was open slightly so she could just smell the dew, how sweet it smelled with the moisture mixed with the smell of the grass so tempting to just inhale deeply and continue sleeping but it was too bright.

    Skye slowly willed her eyes to open as the thought of getting out of her nice warm bed fought with her brain to keep them closed and snuggle back up with the covers over her head to block out the light.

  “Damn, I need new, darker curtains…” she mumbled into her pillow.

   For a moment, she forgot that she was alone in bed… again. Just as her thoughts are wandering back to reality from the fuzzy edges of sleep, a cold wet nose tickles her ear just as a warm even wetter tongue licked up the side of her face.

   Kona was almost as big as she was, his big icy blue eyes plead with her silently, “I guess that’s my cue, eh Moose?  Is it that time?” she said softly to the large black and grey Husky. Kona wanted out.

She forced herself to sit up and fully open her eyes, she moved her head from left to right cracking her neck as she turned to see the sun beaming through the sheer curtains it was as if they were not there at all. Deacon had wanted them that way so that he could be up at first light to get the day started… Now he had no more days to start anymore, he would never see the light, smell the dew or wrap his loving arms around her again and she didn’t know if she would ever wake up in the morning without a gaping hole in her chest, vaguely thinking that he was there somewhere waiting for us to get up and see him in the kitchen making breakfast with his stupid ‘Kiss the Cook’ apron on. Her heart ached at the thought.

    Sitting quietly, she listened waiting to hear if there were any other noises are going on in the house …there was not a peep coming from anywhere else except from Kona’s muzzle as she snuffed and nudged at Skye to hurry her up and get her out of bed.

   Gently trying to motivate Skye, Kona began to become very impatient with her owner as the human continued to sit there and soak in the morning for as long as she could. To Kona as long as she could would mean a nice stripe of yellow down the side of her creamy bedspread if she took much longer. The big dog nudged Skye harder, stuck a tongue in her ear and then sat back on his haunches and chuffed as if to say “Look lady, who cares I have to pee!”

    Skye finally motivated herself to sit up and push the covers off. The chill hit her legs and she reached for her robe that was hanging off of the back of her headboard and Kona started to dance, now standing her back legs stayed planted and her front legs bounced from side to side. Skye swung her feet out of bed right into her slipper and wrapped the purple robe around her body pushing herself up into motion. With Kona prancing at her heels she stepped out into the hall only to have the smell of fresh coffee invade her senses as it came wafting up the stairs.

   She took a deep breath, “Thank god for auto timers” she mumbled quietly to Kona on the way down the hall. 

   As she passed by a slightly open door and she leaned forward and peeked into the room. She could see Cyrus in bed; face down with the blankets pulled all the way up over his head and his feet hanging out of the bottom just a touch over the end of the mattress.

   Cyrus was tall for the age of 15, with a medium build and dark brown hair that just reached the top of his shoulders he hadn’t even filled out yet and he was designed to be muscular but sleek. His shaggy brown locks fell into his eyes and prevented anyone from getting a good look at his face and he hadn’t cut his hair since his father died. All he continued to say when approached about getting a haircut was “It’s not a priority”. Words his father had used in a sentence so many times and almost every day.

   Skye ask him what was a priority and he would just smile at her and ask “What do you think?” with a twinkle in his eyes. Deacon would usually say it to get out of doing the mundane things that he wanted to put off, taking out the garbage, loading the dishwasher stuff to him that could wait. Maybe that was Cyrus’ way of keeping Deacon close to him. She stood in the doorway, trapped in the memory for a moment as she looked at the ball of fabric on the bed that covered her son and quickly decided that she wouldn’t wake him yet.

   The kids had a good half an hour before they needed to be up and get ready for school so she might as well let them enjoy it a little longer.

      With Kona at her side, she scanned the hall and leaned towards the railing. As she looked over the railing she scanned the lower floor for Angel. The dark brindled Pit-bull was nowhere to be found as usual. That dog would not get up out of her cozy soft bed for the sounds of familiar footsteps, but if a stranger were to enter the house she would not be so passive. Skye tried hard to step quietly downstairs while being careful to step over the weak board halfway down the staircase, her feet touched the landing and she could hear Angels collar with all of its tags jingle. Whenever she lifts her head it sounds like a key ring although she can’t see her yet Skye knows that Angel is double checking the noises she is hearing.

    Once Angel see and confirms that it’s her human, she lazily extends her front legs in an awkward stretch before forcing her hind legs to lift up her stocky muscular body and proceeds to give herself a brisk shake, shaking her head from side to side  to wake up.

   Passing by the sleepy dog to unlock the sliding back door, she reaches into a small box on the counter closest to the glass door. Inside is a pack of cigarettes and lighter that sits next to the phone and she prepared for her daily routine that consisted of 20 minutes of watching the dogs chase each other around the yard at top speed trying to knock each other over like a bulldozer before they do their business. Fishing a cigarette out of the package and scanning the backyard, she put the cigarette in her mouth, flicked the lighter then touched the flame to the end.  Skye took a long slow draw and inhaled deeply at that moment she thought that she should have gotten a coffee on her way through the kitchen to make this morning’s wake up perfectly complete…for now anyway.

    Nothing would ever be perfect again…

    She had to make her brain stop. Some thoughts were so simple like the coffee, the dogs and others she hated because it reminded her that she’s alone and the love of her life is gone leaving her to raise 3 kids, a house and a business to run without him. She almost hates him for it but it’s not his fault that he was taken away from her so early. It makes her angry for a split second and then she remembers her grief. He’s been gone 6 months and it still hurts like hell.

   She remembers having a conversation with Deacon one night in the same chair she’s sitting in now about how people see the world at first from a young age and how it changes so dramatically as we grow up. She remembers him saying that we see it the way our parents wanted us to but, as we grow up we see things the depending on events that have happened or change us in our lives. Good or bad they all shape us and our views. Everything was happy and bright when her family was whole but after that night in the bad side of town an junkie killed her husband for his wallet and his car nothing was bright anymore, the lights went out and she really didn’t know if it ever could be again.

    The only thing that kept her together is the kids and her closest friends constantly being there for them even when she couldn’t get out of bed. Sometimes it hurts Skye to look at Cyrus because he looks so much like his father. She sees Deacons eyes, his smile, and his mannerisms in him… it almost kills her some days and rips her heart right open but it keeps her strong at the same time.

    She can feel the tension building as she starts to think about the asshole that took her loves life and she tries to bury the intense murderous feeling that has been growing inside of her for these 6 months. That the case continues to go cold every day that they get no leads saddens her and makes her want to weep, but that tornado of feelings seems to melt away when she hear Cyrus’s alarm go off from his open window above her with an awful buzz and seconds later it stops.

   “Ahhh… the glorious snooze button,” she says with a sideways smile “too bad life doesn’t come with one of those.”